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How to Divorce a Narcissist

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Divorcing a narcissist is one of the toughest things that you might face in your life. Continuing a healthy marital relationship is most of the time impossible with a narcissistic spouse, and when you decide to leave them, it becomes more problematic. What is the solution, then?

In this article, we provide you with a complete guideline about narcissism, how to deal with them and finally, some tips and strategies on how to divorce a narcissist. Read the full article for all your queries.

What is Narcissism?

In a general sense, narcissism is a kind of personality disorder where a person is fully driven to himself or herself. Or, they might love to stay obsessed with a particular thing like you might get obsessed with any celebrity lifestyle, selfies, your own characteristics and whatnot.

But in psychology, this personality disorder gets defined in a different way. It says that when a person loves to live in an ideal, imaginary world or grandiose of himself or herself where he or she is everything, that personality trait is called narcissism.

Not Every Narcissist is a NARCISSIST

Narcissism is not always bad, and not every narcissist is a true narcissist in a sense. A true narcissist is usually a person who is emotionally broken and has grown up a defense mechanism against that pathological condition which is completely dysfunctional. A true narcissist person tends to make himself/herself self-satisfied, agreeable, confident and egoistic. It is far better than being mentally disturbed all the time.

On the other hand, a narcissistic person becomes intolerable when he/she shows extreme ego self-consciousness and comfort over others. When they enter into a permanent relationship, they basically attempt to control their partners, which denies the features of a true narcissist.

How to Divorce a Narcissist: Points to be Noted

How to deal with a narcissistic spouse is a common question nowadays. If your spouse is a narcissist, it becomes hard to handle and stay with them. And when you decide to get out of that life, the main hassle you face is how to leave a narcissist forever. Here we are presenting some important strategies that you need to follow for divorcing a narcissistic husband or wife. So, let’s note down the points:

Set Realistic Expectations

You have to keep always in mind that there is a huge difference between a narcissist and a normal or regular spouse. So, you should never expect a normal kind of behavior from your narcissistic spouse. While dealing with a divorce, try to set realistic expectations that your spouse would not normally agree to sit and discuss issues with you. Rather, they always try to prove them right and you wrong. Plan your steps accordingly.

Assemble Your Support Team

Narcissists always try to stay at the center of everyone’s attention, and they possess an extra power to charm and convince others around them. In a divorce case, your narcissist spouse will do the same. He/she will try to convince people that you are the only guilty person for all these and might capture people around you as well. So, you just need to assemble a strong support team for yourself who will always support you till the final announcement.

Set Boundaries for Yourself

A divorce case means that you are likely to be separated from your spouse. But a narcissistic person often does not want to maintain any boundaries. They might try to influence or manipulate you again and again. Already you are going through a tough mental period. That is why you need to set your own boundaries so that your spouse can not influence you, no matter how much they try. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to come out of this toxic period.

Document Everything

Narcissists can do everything to win and prove themselves right. They can even lie in court. You need to stay alert. Try to document and record all the words they say while the divorce is running, if possible. At least, try to gather as much evidence as you can against them. You should not trust their words at all.

Hire a Professional Lawyer

It is the best choice for you to hire a professional lawyer who has enough experience in dealing with such cases or at least dealing with narcissistic people. Without the help or guideline of a lawyer, you alone could not manage to fight against a person who can do everything for his/her own self. Also, a lawyer can present sufficient proof and logic against the narcissist spouse, which will make your divorce process easy and quick.


Finally, we sum up our discussion here. Now you probably know the complete details about how to divorce a narcissist, right? Dealing with a narcissistic spouse is totally different from a normal and mentally healthy spouse. So, you must set up your expectations and strategies accordingly. Lastly, this is a gentle recommendation for you to hire an experienced divorce lawyer while dealing with such cases. Best of luck!

Frequently Asked Questions

How Does a Narcissist React to Divorce?

Divorcing a narcissist is a tough issue. Whenever any divorce case occurs, a narcissist generally reacts differently than a normal person. A narcissist tends to tolerate all the issues and sets his or her mind as the divorce is a fight for him/her which must be won.

How Do You Outsmart a Narcissist in a Divorce?

In order to outsmart a narcissist in a divorce, first of all, you need to learn about narcissism and what a narcissist expects. Try to keep maintaining distances from them until your divorce is finalized, and better you talk to a therapist and a good divorce lawyer having experience of handling such cases beforehand.

Why is It So Hard to Divorce a Narcissist?

It is because narcissists try to manipulate others all the time. They have the power to charm and convince people with their own logic. That is why it is so hard to divorce a narcissist.

Why Do Narcissists Refuse to Divorce?

A narcissist always tries to control, dominate and manipulate his or her partner. That is one big reason they refuse to divorce because they think that by divorce, they will lose the power of controlling their partners forever.

Why a Narcissist Wants a Divorce?

Narcissists basically hope for a personal world or place where they can rule over just as they like to do. That is why they want divorce so that they can have their own world. Another reason is they want their partners to prove guilty and responsible for all misconducts that lead their marriage to divorce.